We are all gunna die. Or Fly. Or Maybe not

If you have not read the origins of DinoJesus this blog written by the eldest sibling may not make much sense.  Please click on February on the right and read that blog before you read this one.  Then all shall be made plain.


Those of us that are followers of the three-toed path, know that much of the myths and legends ascribed to the other Major religions are derived from the truth of DinoJesus.  However, it is rare indeed to find such blatant theft of ideas as the evangelical idea of "The Rapture."  For those that have never heard this inane idea, the scriptural reference the Evangelicals use to promote their belief is found in the "Bible."

1 Thessalonains 4

16  For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with a voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first:

17  Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.

Our evangelical friends take this passage to mean that they will be swept up to meet with the Human Jesus in the clouds, while all the sinners (people who are not evangelical) will be ...(dramatic music, Dum, Dum, Dum)..left below.

Followers of DinoJesus however, may recognize this revisionism, if not down right plagiarism.  In the one and only true scripture, the Bibliosaura, or Book of the Lizard, we can find the genesis of the idea behind "The Rapture."  I have included the original as translated into English below:

1 Theropods 4

16  For DinoJesus himself shall descend from heaven with a mighty roar, yea even with the voice of the James Earl Jones, and with much gnashing of teeth: and the dead in the natural history museum shall rise first:

17  Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the DinoJesus in the air: and so shall we be, even as the Raptors.

We of course know this event is rightly called "The Raptor."  We do not have the full knowledge of whether we will be as happy as the Raptors, or literally be transformed into Raptors, to feast on the flesh of the unbelievers.  This is unimportant for our current understanding.  All we need to know is what all non flying species have always known.  You don't want to be left below a large group of flying creatures.  It will almost assuredly be a shitty time.